Love at first sight

Six years ago today, I met the boy of my dreams. He literally was the boy of my dreams. Cameron Douglas Zay was born at 6:33 pm on Sunday February 22, 2004. After a nightmarish difficult pregnancy, he was delivered during a nightmarish difficult delivery, despite all medical understanding, alive and healthy. I had dreamt of being a mother. In my dreams I always had 4 kids, 3 boys and a girl. My reality was much different. After a tumor on my left ovary left my ovary damaged and my right ovary needing to be removed while I was pregnant with Cameron I suffered several early term miscarriages. We knew after lots of heartache that we would never have any additional children. And even though it was heartbreaking to know accept it, we were so blessed to have this one prefect little child to love. I sit here, way too early in the morning for my own good, just so thankful that my lil guy, who shouldn't have been, is now 6 years old!




To Cameron, you are the child I always wanted and struggled so hard to get here alive. You have been my greatest joy. I look at you everyday and am just so thankful that God trusted me enough to be your mother. I always feel inadequate and that I'm not doing it right. That there should be more . . . more to teach you, more to play more more more. I guess that's because I want everything for you. And although that is an unrealistic idea, I can't give you everything, I can give you the best that I have. I know I get frustrated and for that I'm sorry. It's the parents curse. I hope that you look back on your childhood with the fondest of memory’s. I hope that someday you look back at the things we did as a family and that you are so happy with the childhood you got. I hope that you continue to grow big and strong. I hope that you remain close to our family as you get older and love the feeling of a close family. I hope that you keep your faith. You have such a wonderful "childlike" faith, you really love God and you keep daddy and I accountable, in ways you can't even grasp. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for you for your life!

Love Mommy